Thursday, October 28, 2010

Return but never Leave

Mother: Hija (daughter), what a surprise to see you again after so many months, though time has a way of behaving differently with us here.

Daughter: Mamá, I would have come sooner, but after I got off the plane I wanted, without planning it until I landed in New York City, to visit my old elementary school in Elmhurst, New York. The trip to NYC in the spring is a delight after having spent years away. The dogwood trees, the cheery blossoms and the tulips were in bloom just minutes away from the airport terminal.

Mother: Tell me about yourself. Have you eaten? I could fix some chicken I have in the refrigerator? Or we could wait for the others to arrive.

Daughter: I’m glad that we’re alone, though papá is here with us, yet not here. You know that 15 minutes after leaving, he’ll wonder about the identity of the woman who had just left his home. I’ll have to look in on him when he’s better. I have something difficult to tell you about what happened to me hours before I boarded the plane.

Mother: Hija mía (daughter of mine), I hope it wasn’t anything serious; you seem to be more composed than you’ve ever been.

Daughter: No, mamá. Nothing like that! But hours before, as I was finishing packing, I get a call from Ulyses. I hadn’t spoken to him in months and I hadn’t seen him in two years and he just happened to be in town on business. He wanted to see me. Not having much time, yet not wanting to offend him, and myself, in a way, we met for dinner. It was incredible seeing him again, but I was unsure of what to say. As we embraced in the Five Corners Shopping Mall, he said, "how good you were to me years ago." It was good to hear him say that, but he said it so quickly and the street was so noisy, that I asked him to repeat it, but he smiled and said that he was sure I had understood. So I decided that I not volunteer any information unless it came out naturally. There are things I have never told him, that I must tell him someday, but how to do it is the problem.

Mother: Mi vida, but isn’t that the man you were involved with years ago with the wife and two boys? I thought you had decided not to see him anymore.

Daughter: He disappeared, as did I, from my life—our lives—but now that he’s single he wants to see me again. So I met him, gladly, but at the same time I was apprehensive. I hadn’t dated anyone for what seemed like years, and it was so nice to see someone who genuinely was glad to see me and who remembered me from a time when I was younger. I know, I’m still young to you, but I feel I’ve aged because of my state of my mind in the last two years. He, however, told me I looked younger. I was so glad to see him that I believed him and didn’t doubt his sincerity.

Mother: What did you talk about? Where did you go?

Daughter: We dined at Tropics, which is a restaurant that seems to exist in a world all its own, & we remembered when we used to go there on Saturday nights when we were still together. Before we said goodbye, I was sitting in his car and he asked me if he could kiss me for old times’ sake. Not to tell you too much; you’re my mamá and I can’t tell you anymore details, but I will say that I’m not totally happy with the way things turned out.

Mother: Oh, I see. Well, you don’t have to say too much. I, um, guess the same thing probably happened to me before I met your father, but, of course, I have blissfully forgotten it.

Daughter: Mamá, I thought I had changed. I thought that we could talk and leave it at that, but when he said goodbye four hours later, I was both glad we had spent so much time together, but I felt frustrated, too. That sort of thing had not happened to me, even after dates with well-to-do, and educated, Cuban-American men I had met through my work in the arts in Miami, Florida. But with Ulyses, a simple, but good and kind-hearted man, the temptation was, well, not overpowering, but almost natural.

Mother: Well, it’s not an easy life being a Christian woman when things don’t go the way they’re supposed to go. Did anything good come out of all of this?

Daughter: I was both happy and secretly disappointed with myself for not having made different decisions, but though I was unsure of what I was about to do before he left, I did it anyway, in case, through some odd turn of events, this was the last time I’d ever see him.

Mother: I hope it was not what you used to do when you were just out of college?

Daughter: Yes, I’m a funny girl, but I am who I am. I’m both a person with a deep desire for spiritual things, yet, at times, I do things I would rather not have done once I’ve done them. Though I wasn’t sure of the soundness of what I was planning, I told Ulyses that when I found this book in Spanish in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, last year, I thought of him, and how I'd love to give it to him to read some day.

Mother: That’s very odd, hija. To give a man you’ve just has intimate relations with, especially one who used to be married when you were previously involved with him, to give him that book! I can see your interest in him in the long run, especially, as you say, if that was the last time you’d ever see each other again, but I don’t think many people would believe your sincerity or whether you did the right thing half an hour after you were alone with him. Maybe you should have just said goodbye and read the book yourself. You might benefit from reading that book yourself, it seems to me. Sorry for saying so. What if he reads the book and then wonders about how it came into his possession months or years from now? Don’t you think that might counteract the entire purpose of the book?

Daughter: But, mamá, didn’t you once tell me that an old boyfriend of yours, years before you met papa, was the one who introduced you to Christ, though he himself later left the church, while you’re still in it? The thought went through my mind, as I was unsure whether it was the wise thing to do. But I went ahead and told him, that this book has been in my possession, not that copy, but the title, since I was 16 and it’s given me more joy and hope than I could ever have had without it. I wanted so very badly to give him the book. I told him that I hoped he would like it, and of course, if it was not intended for him, well, to just “pass it on,” as they say.

Mother: So, he wasn’t surprised by the title? Did he question your intentions? I can’t imagine what that’s like. That kind of thing is never done and especially not talked about.

Daughter: Ulyses thanked me and looked at the title and assured me that he was touched that I would think of him months before I actually gave him this book with the hope that if I saw him again, I’d place it in his hand.

Mother: Well, mi hija, I hope it does him some good, or give it away without reading it himself. And I hope you did the right thing. I wouldn’t have done such a thing. Some would say you did a bad thing in giving him that book, only an hour after having been alone with him. I wonder if anyone has ever done a similar thing? How many people would even confide in other people that such things happen in life? But, I hope things work out well for him. More importantly, I hope you find the happiness and solutions to the challenges you face as a single woman, living in a city far from any family.

Daughter: Yes, mamá, I hope he finds what he needs or wants in his life and I hope he always remembers me as the woman who one day, perhaps foolishly, gave him his first, of many editions, of Steps to Christ.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fuerte y debil: Candela & Sajid: Strong and weak

Pepa: Candela. Hace mucho que no nos vemos? Como te va tu nuevo trabajo? Era algo en un hospital?

Candela: Sí. Ultrasonido. Me gusta aunque, claro, siempre me parece que estoy en el hospital y apenas en casa.

Pepa: Me dijo Marisa que te habías casado? O no ha llegado a eso aún?

Candela: Casi casada, pero con complicaciones. Después te lo cuento?

Pepa: Hija, pero si siempre es lo mismo contigo. Todo me lo contarás despues. Cúentamelo ahora, esta vez.

Candela: Bueno, se llama Issa. Me dijo que era de la India pero ultimamente me dí de cuentas, que es de Jordan, pero, me dá lo mismo. Ya sabes que anteriomente el mundo Arabe no me trató muy bien, pero este dice que es de la India, o a lo mejor, también es Arabe. Que sé yo?

Pepa: Oye, me parece que te has complicado otra vez. Pensé que despues del asunto con los Chiítas, habías aprendido tu lección. Pero, sigue, contándomelo.

Candela: No, nada especial. Nos conocimos en un restaurante muy popular, Tropics, lo conoces? No? Bueno, me lo recomendó Ulyses, el ex-amigo de Hija. Ni sabía que iban tanta gente agradable allí. Me saludó, y yo, claro, tan simpática que soy, pues lo saludé también.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Better to go blind, than to hurt your wife

Pepa:
Marisa:
Candela:
Rodrigo:
Santiago: Pastor Santiago Ramirez
Nicaraguan 32 year old friend of Rodrigo's:

Marisa invites Rodrigo home for a home-cooked meal. House is dirty, she drops incense. Rodrigo understand, but gives her advice about cleanliness is next to Godliness. You never know when the Lord is going to visit your home.

Major thrust is what to do with sexual temptations when you are separated from your loved one or don't have one and you are Christian. Rodrigo tells Marisa and had told his pastor, as well, that both adultery and masturbation is a sin, pastor agreed. Marisa disagreed and advised him, as a concerned friend, that it was a nobler act, and kinder to his wife in Mexico to choose the latter which "only hurt himself if it hurt anyone at all" as opposed to the latter which was being thoughtless of his wife and children back home.

It was a delicate, but effective afternoon balancing the need to not dance around serious struggles of their christian life. Also Rodrigo said, we're saved by keeping the commandments to avoid God's judgment. Marisa shared with him the beauty of righteousness by faith, spending time with Christ every morning in prayer and bible study and meditation, and not focusing on oneself and how sinful or imperfect one is, but rather to focus on Christ and his life and his saving grace and love for us. Rodrigo reminded Marisa of her previous encouraging words, failures in the Christian life are not meant to mean the cleansing process is over, just like dropping the soap in the shower means the bath is over. Just pick up the soap and continue the cleansing process. Rodrigo is very frank with Pr. Sandoval who insists that both adultery and masturbation are a sin under all circumstances. Rodrigo tells Pr. that he himself is also capable of sins and, as a handsome man, may easily fall as well. Rodrigo tells Marisa that she should also seek counseling from Pr. S, but she says she can't as he is married to her first cousin. The last time she confided her christian struggles in a pastor, the whole church found out her problems with men.

Rodrigo quickly requested that Marisa drive him home, just when the conversation was getting interesting. She later realized, being alone with her might have been difficult for him, in spite of the fact that he had never given her any indication that he was attracted to her. It did seem odd, though that he requested with so much urgency that she drive him home, and that he'd wait outside for her while she closed the balcony doors and got her keys to go.

Marisa mentioned the woman at church who liked men till her husband gave up on her 30 years later. she also mentioned the teacher that was a deeply devout woman, but still had temptation when she met a college male friend who was attractive and how she wanted to be with him, and that it was a struggle especially since she had never been truly satisfied sexually by her loving, but sexually inexperienced or unimaginative husband of 15 years.

Rodrigo's oft repeated line to Ms. Paulina, was I'm still standing and am here in church as is, with all my sins, failures and mistakes. What else could he tell her when she asked him every week how he was. He simply told her the truth and was amused at her reaction whenever he told her that.