Christian Princes on the Verge

Angel: Paquito, how long it's been since I last saw you! So much has changed. You’ve changed as well, but you’ve still retained your sense of humor. I’m happy. Why assume major changes have to completely alter one’s personality?

Paco: Zah—Sorry, Angel, I thought you’d die, or was it your brother. Sorry, I put my foot in my mouth. It’s good to see you, amigo.

Angel: Yes, life is good, not perfect, after all, I’m not yet, or may never become a Perfect Futurist, if such a creature exits. But I’m finding new avenues I never wanted to try. At times, I feel alone, but perhaps that’s our basic condition, even when we have someone we care about right next to us. When we dream, we dream alone.

Paco: Since we parted I’ve moved to Miami, Florida in the U.S.A., or as they say in Madrid, in e.e.u.u. I opened a successful hair salon on the Miracle Mile & that’s where I still am. My brother didn’t join me in going to meet Him, but I’m still close to him, as I am to his, well, our, friends.

Angel: When you speak of Him, you mean Pedro, or the other g--. OK, I’ll behave.

Paco: I found a huge church in Miami Central. It reminds me of the ones in Havana that my brother remembers from his childhood. I’m sure they know I’m not your typical church member, but they seem nice. And, some of them even come into my shop to get their hair done or their nails. No, I’ve stopped that; I can’t stand toxic fumes. Some of them look at me funny at times, but who knows, they may have some problems of their own. Why should I dwell on the meaning of their looks? After all, it’s not every day, though I hope it happens more and more, that you see a princess become a prince and sit down in pews where only those who were born princes, from day one, sit.

Angel: For me it’s been harder, as I’m sure you’re aware. After the operation, I met Him, and I’m very fond of my life with Him, but well, I’m not the same little boy I used to be at 17. Even though I look male now and gradually act more butch, though it is hysterical how often I cross my legs the wrong way in church, and quickly correct it as best I can before anyone has the chance to notice. And if I cross them oddly now and then, well, then, I cross them oddly.

Paco: I’m lucky to have my brother who I’m very close to & our friends at work. Work is what keeps me sane, and, of course, I want the shop to be as successful as it was in the days when all the celebrities came by and complemented me for succeeding where they hadn’t done so, on Miracle Mile. Do you have many friends from the old days?

Angel: Not really, here and there. Most of my friends are at work, and some casual friends in the complex where I live. It’s difficult for me because of my options or lack of them. But either, way I can’t complain too much. I’m in less pain than I was before.

Paco: So you’re not seeing anyone? Have you spoken to anyone about your options? What did you father say?

Angel: He’s a great guy, though a bid odd. He looked at me kindly and said, you know Angel, you can’t really marry a woman, because, technically you are one. And you can’t marry a man, because that wouldn’t be right either. When I asked him, if he thought someone else like me would be all right, he looked at me even kinder, but shook his head.

Paco: So that’s it? You’re going to listen to your papá and live your life alone just because you’re with Him now? You think he wants you to live your life with only friends and family by your side? Look at me, I have—what am I saying? All I have is friends and family and not much else.

Angel: I traveled to Loma Linda University and spoke to a Dr. Sakae Kubo, an ethicist in the Medical Center, and asked him what advice he could give me. Did Ellen White ever, even, hint that people like me would find a rewarding life with Him years after she penned her famous Testimonies? He was very kind to me. He said, “Angel. Transsexualism or hermaphrodites or intersexuals, are very complicated phenomena. No one can explain them well enough, and the kindest thing is simply to say that we don’t know enough about it, or perhaps, never will, to make any judgment or final decisions. When I pressed him, all he could say was, “His grace is sufficient for you. When you are weak, then you are strong.”

Paco: I’ve never understood that one. It went over my head as well. But it’s better than a slammed door any day.

Angel: It made no sense, either. But, gradually, it has taken on a strange power and sustaining force all its own. I mean, I may one day find the answer He wants me to find. And even though it’s not the best answer for this life to say this, but I know that someday he will remake me into the person He always meant for me to be. He might even surprise me.

Paco: Angelito, thanks for telling me about Sakae Kubo. I wish I had met him. Let’s keep in touch and perhaps, one day you’ll move to Miami, Florida or I’ll move back to Spain, but either way, we’ll always keep in touch. I’m only a prayer away, papito.